Last night I had the pleasure of having dinner with a birthmom and then having her come and speak to our adoption group. "M" is an amazing woman. She was open and honest with us and we, as adoptive parents, appreciate that so much. I truly believe that speaking with birthfamilies makes us not only better adoptive parents but better people in general. I am still in awe of the strength some people have, M is no exception. It has been some time since she placed her child and she still is confident that she did the right thing and I am so happy for her for that.
I was a bit surprised when I had mentioned that what she did for her child's adoptive parents, allowing them to be a part of the process, go to sonograms and be at the birth etc..., was such a gift to them. Birth families have the right to have the adoptive family involved as little or as much as they want. But, the adoptive family would probably never have had a chance to experience that aspect of pregnancy had it not been for M. I know that this was a gift because our son's birthmom allowed us to be part of her pregnancy as well and that was priceless for us. She did not have to but she chose to and we were so honored to have such a big role in her pregnancy.
To all birth families: we will not pretend to know what you have to go through or how you feel. But, what we want you to know is that because of you, and you alone, we are parents, we are a family and we are forever grateful for the sacrifice and selfless decision you have made.
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