Mother's Day 2011

Tyler giving us a play by play description of his last big hit.

Don't ask about the sombrero.

Aidan's pre-k graduation

Aidan's pre-k Luau Graduation (5/26/11)

Adoption Meeting - Talking to your child about their birthfamily & adoption

We had an amazing meeting for our adoption group last night.

It was about telling your kids about their birthfamily and their adoption. The presenters were outstanding; 2 women, around my age, one is a birthmom and the other is an adult adoptee. They are both professional, well established women in their own right. They were open, honest and so informative.

I may not have the "perfect" life, to be honest, who does??? But I know I am very blessed. Being part of this adoption group and meeting birthmoms, adult adoptees and other members of the adoption triad is priceless. These meetings, it's members and our guest speakers have given us the tools that we need to be better parents and a better support system not only to our children but to their birth families.

Throughout our adoption journey I have come across some birthmoms who have such a feeling of loss and regret. My heart breaks for them. But, the more birthmom's that I speak with (not anonomysly -ie via the web) the more I see that they are happy that they chose adoption for their child. The speakers from last night's adoption meeting give us a lot of information regarding how so many birthmoms, after choosing adoption, go on to fulfill their dreams and the overwhelming majority of them are confident that adoption was the best choice for their child and for them. That does not mean it was the easiest choice. I wish I had all of the information regarding this research in front of me to share with you.

I can go on and on about this topic but I know my time is limited. The boys will be up soon and then it's off to soccer and t-ball. I love Saturdays!!!

Still here

I believe I have said this oh about 1,000 times. But I am terrible at blogging. It's not that I don't want to it's just that the days slip away so quickly.
We are still here, we are still praying to add to our family through adoption.
To be honest, I am hardly on the computer, as many of you can see by my fb page, and when I am, it's trying to look up site on adoption and advocate for our family.

"Everything to Me" by Mark Schultz

We love our's birthmom so very much because she gave him life!!

grab some tissues and watch this when you can
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhqJYOYcnAU


Here are the lyrics to this beautiful song:


I must have felt your tears
When they took me from your arms
I'm sure I must have heard you say goodbye
Lonely and afraid had you made a big mistake
Could an ocean even hold the tears you cried

But you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
And you made the only choice you could that night

[Chorus]
You gave life to me
A brand new world to see
Like playing baseball in the yard with dad at night
Mom reading Goodnight Moon
And praying in my room
So if you worry if your choice was right
You gave me up but you gave everything to me

And if I saw you on the street
Would you know that it was me
And would your eyes be blue or green like mine
Would we share a warm embrace
Would you know me in your heart
Or would you smile and let me walk on by
Knowing you had dreams for me
You wanted the best for me
And I hope that you'd be proud of who I am

[Chorus]
You gave life to me
A chance to find my dreams
And a chance to fall in love
You should have seen her shining face
On our wedding day
Oh is this the dream you had in mind
When you gave me up
You gave everything to me

And when I see you there
Watching from heaven's gates
Into your arms
I'm gonna run
And when you look in my eyes
You can see my whole life
See who I was
And who I've become

Adoption, The Emotional Roller

For those of you who have been here, you know the ups and downs that one faces when trying to adopt. You hear nothing for so long and then all of a sudden there are multiple possibilities and then..... POOF...... they are gone. It is so very frustrating to have the fate of your family in someone else's hands. Don't get me wrong, we know there are people out there who have been waiting to adopt for way longer than we have but, it doesn't make us hurt any less.

Someone said to me tonight that it will happen as soon as we stop waiting for it to happen. Geeze, I hope that's not true because then it will never happen. We are waiting for our adoption phone to ring. We are checking our adoption e-mail account. Adopting is something we think about everyday. We are not letting it consume our lives but it is a huge part of it.

For anyone who wants a child, who longs to have a baby to love and cherish unconditionally and whole heatedly, the waiting for your child is rough, regardless of how he/she comes to you, through birth or through adoption. We have been down both roads and neither one was smooth sailing but, we wouldn't change it for the world and we know we will feel the same when we hold our new baby in our arms.

We were blessed with Aidan.

And we were blessed once again with Tyler.

Easter - yes, I know it was 2 weeks ago :-)

We had a great time coloring eggs. Thankfully we did it a couple of days before Easter, just enough time for the dye to wear off.

We had Easter at our house this year. It was unbelievably hot, most of the kids changed out of their Easter outfits pretty quickly. The kids looked for the 120 eggs, don't know what I was thinking doing that many. I'm sure we'll still be finding some in the upcoming weeks, hope their not the ones with the chocolate.

here's to Pez, jelly beans & chocolate before  7:30 am - hey, it's once a year!

Aidan's take on being a baby...

Aidan was looking at his baby book, as he often does.
Aidan: "It was very hard being a baby"
Me: "Why?"
Aidan: "I had to grow a belly button, that was hard and coming our of a belly really hurt a lot"

boy, i almost forgot how hard it was being a baby

Ty started soccer

Finally, at 2 1/2 Tyler is old enough to play soccer. Today, probably one of the coldest days in April (brrrrrrr) Tyler had his first soccer practice and he LOVED IT!! He didn't want to stretch before practice, and who could blame him, he'd been up since 6:30 and did quite a bit of "stretching" already.

Tyler got a bit off track playing with Brian and Aidan

Birthmother Panel

Last night I had the pleasure of having dinner with a birthmom and then having her come and speak to our adoption group. "M" is an amazing woman. She was open and honest with us and we, as adoptive parents, appreciate that so much. I truly believe that speaking with birthfamilies  makes us not only better adoptive parents but better people in general. I am still in awe of the strength some people have, M is no exception. It has been some time since she placed her child and she still is confident that she did the right thing and I am so happy for her for that.
I was a bit surprised when I had mentioned that what she did for her child's adoptive parents, allowing them to be a part of the process, go to sonograms and be at the birth etc..., was such a gift to them. Birth families have the right to have the adoptive family involved as little or as much as they want. But, the adoptive family would probably never have had a chance to experience that aspect of pregnancy had it not been for M. I know that this was a gift because our son's birthmom allowed us to be part of her pregnancy as well and that was priceless for us. She did not have to but she chose to and we were so honored to have such a big role in her pregnancy.

To all birth families: we will not pretend to know what you have to go through or how you feel. But, what we want you to know is that because of you, and you alone, we are parents, we are a family and we are forever grateful for the sacrifice and selfless decision you have made.

It's been a while

We just got back from Disney earlier this week and it was awesome. We have always loved going but it was a different experience taking the boys. We weren't sure how Ty was going to react to the characters since he was scared of Elmo outside of a store handing out fliers one day (maybe it had something to do with the fact that Elmo's head was on crooked!). We had nothing to worry about, both of the boys were so excited it was better than we could have even imagined.

We only told them we were going the night before we left. Thank God because Aidan couldn't fall asleep, he was too excited and was up half the night.

Our second day there we spent 12 hours at The Magical Kingdom and the boys did not stop for a second. We took an obscene amount of pictures that I have to go through - should only take about 3 days! I'll post some soon.

Tyler's speech kicked into full gear on this trip and he talked the entire time!!! Wow - talk about the flood gates opening up.

Now that we are back I hope to be able to post more often. Hopefully with some much needed improvements. Although, one of the most amazing people I know has a blog that is just unreal. I don't know how she does it. I always wonder how many hours are in her day - lol. I will probably not reach the level she is at but I sure will try.

here are a few pics..

Ty is just a bit excited for the magic carpet ride.

New link to our Adoption Profile

We just added a new link to our adoption profile. Although it is very similar to this one there is a bit more information in there (ie - our relationship with our son's birthmother etc..)
Also, you can print the profile.
The link is on the bottom right side of this page - Kristen & Brian's printable profile.

look who joined the family

On Friday we picked up Elvis, our new puppy.
He is so sweet and we are all having such a great time with him. He is a terrific addition to our family.
Kristen's dad had always said that a family should have a dog, now we don't have to worry that he's going to leave a puppy on hour front step :-)

Aidan's 5th Birthday

I can't believe it's been 5 year since Aidan was born. 

Why adoption?

We get a lot of questions/comments from people (family, friends and strangers) about adoption. Here are just a few:

Why are you adopting again?

Aren't you happy with the family you have?

It must be easier since you already adopted.

To Brian and me the answers are simple but not easy to explain. I can talk about it for hours but will do my best to keep it concise in this forum. 

Why are we adopting again?

From our first date Brian and I discussed what we wanted as far as a family was concerned. We knew that we wanted a big family (4-5 kids). We have always loved our big family get-togethers. Don't get me wrong, we have our ups and downs as all families do - we're not perfect but we all love each other & are there for one another. Anyway,  s I said Brian and I knew what we wanted and we had both said that we were open to adopting ~not knowing at that time what would happen a few years later when we had Aidan. 

Just because the path of your dream changes doesn't mean that the dream goes away. 

ok - so I went on to write a couple of more paragraphs then I realized that most people aren't going to read all my ramblings so I deleted it . Like I said, I could go on and on. 

Aren't you happy with the family you have?

Without a doubt! I was floored when I heard someone ask this question. My first reaction was shock and my next was anger. How dare they think we don't love our family. I'd bet that they didn't ask their child that when  they heard she was having another baby! What is the difference?!

My thought is that if people can get pregnant and have more children they have the right to have more, right?  More than likely they have the love and desire to have more children. It doesn't mean they aren't happy with the children they already have.  It's the same with Brian and I. We love our boys more than words can explain but we still have a strong desire to have more children to love and spoil and laugh with and cry with and .....go through all that life has to offer with.

It must be easier since you adopted again.

NO! The emotions are still very much the same - nervous, anxious, excited. We still wait by the phone hoping that it will ring. My heart still skips a neat when it does. 

I know that typing takes the emotion out of things but believe me, this is something we are both very emotional and passionate about. Like I said earlier I could go on and on about this but I won't.

Wishing

Today is my birthday, maybe I'll get a phone call, a sign, a glimmer of hope. Hey, you never know!

Advice from birthmoms

I just read a post today on advice that birthmoms are giving to PAPS (prospective adoptive parents). This information was priceless.
There was so much that they had to say and I am trying to take it all in. We are not going to turn into someone we are not but we want to be as helpful and supportive to our children's birth family as we can.

Waiting for our phone to ring or waiting for that one email that will change our lives for ever is so agonizing. We just hope and pray that it happens for us.

Out of the mouth's of babes!!!

Just a little background info......we spent the whole day running up and down stairs, cleaning the basement, going to Lowes etc....
After the boys got their hair cuts I was sitting with Aidan and I turned to him and said that he looked so handsome with his new hair cut. He turns to me and puts his hands on my cheeks and looks into my eyes and says, "Mommy, you look so.....(looks me over).......I love you!" God I knew I looked horrible but that sure did make me feel good.....I think?!?!

new hair dos

We tried to grow out Aidan's hair, it didn't work so well. I just love him with a buzz cut. Ty on the other hand, I don't think we will ever be able to cut his hair. My mom's friends want to take him to their hairdresser so they can get his natural highlights.

Only a boy would be born with hair like Tyler's and eyelashes like Aidan's.Go figure!

Ty did not want his before picture taken.

Aidan's before picture.

Ty's after picture. Like I said, just a trim still. I can't bear to cut that beautiful hair off.

Aidan's after picture  (with his faux hawk).

Baking Fridays are BACK

Now that no one is sick baking Fridays are back on. I better find some healthier recipes or I'll end up packing on another 30 by the end of the month!
I guess once we are blessed to adopt another baby I will have to give up the spoon....I CAN'T WAIT!!!!
Believe it or not, this is the quietest time in our home. I don't think I heard a peep out of either of them once I gave them the mixers!

My construction workers

Brian put up some much needed shelving in the closet and in the laundry room. The boys were a big help!

Its finally done!!!!

The basement is done and it looks really good. Now we have to finish organizing the toys, its been fun...no, not really. But we are almost done. I almost have my dining room back!!!

Construction

We are in week three of redoing our basement. It's very exciting but I would like our house back to "normal". The boys are excited b/c its going to be their new play room. Although I think every room in our house is their play room!!!
Unfortunately, our computer is in the basement so it's hard to get on it (right now I'm sitting under a tarp doing this). That's the main reason I haven't been blogging lately. Hopefully once it's all done I can blog more.....and God willing I will get better at doing it so people don't fall asleep reading it!!!

Our Adoption Profile is in!!!

We received our hard copy of our adoption profile from Little Blessings Adoption Services yesterday and it looks awesome. I dropped it off to A Loving Choice, our adoption agency and they really liked it. Tomorrow I am heading off to give one to the priest at our church.
We know that we will be blessed again. It's just the waiting that is tough.

Finally got our camera back

Kristen's mom and brother came for the weekend and brought our camera back!!!!
We all went bowling and the boys loved it!
Aidan beat Kristen - sad but true! and he got a strike.
Brian wiped out......still laughing about it.
Tyler had this huge smile on his face the entire time!!!

Can't wait to do it again!!!!

Trying to get the word out about adopting

Once our site was up and running we sent it our to all of our friends and family. Then many of them passed it on to people they know.
Now, we are just a short time away from having the hard copy of our profile complete. Once that's done we will have our adoption agency, A Loving Choice, show it to the birth families they are working with. 

Is there anything I'm missing? Any stone left unturned? 

I know that the adoption journey could be a long and bumpy one but I know that it will all be worth it. 

The Legacy of An Adopted Child

This is a poem I came across as a child. My sister had it and it has always stuck in my head. Now, years later I now that the plan was always for me to be blessed with a child through adoption. I hope that you like it and that it touches your heart the same way it touched mine. My hope is also that it reminds people that we are all here involved in adoption for one thing, the love of our children.

~ Legacy Of An Adopted Child ~

Once there were two women Who never knew each other. One you do not remember, The other you call mother. Two different lives Shaped to make yours one, One became your guiding star, The other became your sun. The first gave you life, And the second taught you to live it. And the first gave you a need for love, And the second was there to give it. One gave you a nationality. The other gave you a name. One gave you the seeds of talent, The other gave you aim. One gave you emotions, The other calmed your fears. One saw your first sweet smile, The other dried your tears. One gave you life, It was all that she could do. The other prayed for a child, And God led her straight to you. And now you ask me through your tears, The age old question through the years. Heredity or environment, Which are you a product of? Neither, my Darling, Neither, Just two different kinds of love. Author Unknown

The Adoption Meeting was a success!!!

OK So the first meeting went really well. It was a small group but we got some good feedback and know what we want to do for the rest of the year. One of the couples have welcomed home their baby boy. It was so great to see the smile on her face. She is just thrilled beyond belief.

First day at Mom's plus 2 playgroup (maybe soon I'll be able to go to mom's plus 3, is there such thing???)
The boys had a good time and I got to meet some new people.
Tonight's the first Adoption group meeting that I'm going to be running with my friend Kelly. I can't wait! Glad we didn't have to cancel because of the snow!

Yes, I know the blogs aren't too exciting yet.  I'm still getting the hang of it so hang in there; they'll get better soon. I hope!!

Thanks for supporting us on our adoption journey

We are so touched by everyones love and support as we start our adoption journey again. So many of our friends and family have posted our adoption site on their face book page and have e-mailed it to people they know. Brian and I have faith that we will be blessed with a baby to love and cherish.
Thank you all for your unending love and support. It means the world to us.

Our Family trip to Williamsburg

Brian, the boys and I went to Williamburg over the weekend. The boys did great on the ride down and we had such a nice time. Wishing we didn't leave our camera at my parents house but at least we had the video camera.

It was 52 and sunny down there big difference compared to home.

Hoping to add to our family through Adoption

We are so excited that our adoption web site is up and running!!!!!
We didn't do this when we adopted Tyler so this is all new to us. Maybe our baby #3's birthmom/parents will find us this way!

Welcome to our Adoption site

Welcome to our blog!